James 1:19-20
“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
The word “ought” is a derivation of the word “naught.” In English it is meant to express a zero. Back in the 1970’s I served as Pastor of Discipleship and Evangelism at a large church. The camaraderie we had as a staff was wonderful. One day at staff meeting the most distinguished staff member remarked to the Senior Pastor that he always felt under condemnation when he called him. His number ended in 0202 and Vernon said he always thought of it as “ought to! ought to!”
Over the years I have recalled that staff meeting and in my experience as a Christian Counselor and Pastor, I have found that certain phrases are like hidden land mines that explode and cause damage to personal and/or marital relationships.
Many years ago I was recovering from major surgery. It seemed as if many of my friends felt I needed their visit and advice in order to recover. The truth of the matter is that I felt as if I had a relapse after their visit. One exception was a friend of mine who was a surgeon. During breaks he would come into my hospital room and just sit quietly. His silence was like a healing balm.
Rather than giving advice that was not asked for or placing the burden on another person to change, we need to just be available. It is far too easy to ask the question; “Why don’t you?” The better question to ask is, “How can I?”
May God richly bless you as you bless others by your words and actions!
– – – Pastor Cecil